“Can therapy help me be more Holy-Spirit Led? Can therapy help me become a better Christian?”

If you have been wondering if therapy can help you become a “better Christian,” or if therapy can help you be more Holy-Spirit led, you are not alone. This is the silent question held in the heart of many believers. Today, we’ll break it down. 

Underneath this question, “Will therapy help me be more Holy Spirit-led?” is a both a desire to be more led by the Holy Spirit, embodying the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control), paired with a recognition that you don’t embody these qualities as often as you’d like. And underneath that, is often a concern that you’re simply not measuring up, and a fear around what the consequences of that are…

Likewise, underneath the ask, “Will therapy help me be a better Christian?” is a concern that you are not a “good enough” Christian right now.

Cognitive Dissonance Does Not Feel Good

When the way you envision yourself behaving along your walk with the Lord, doesn’t line up with how you actually witness yourself walking, that is called cognitive dissonance. Paul actually writes about this in Romans 7. I invite you to read the entire chapter, but for today’s purposes we can zoom in on this verse:

” For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.”

This internal conflict we feel about how we desire to show up in the world and how we actually do….it’s not just yours. We all experience it, especially when there is an opportunity for more healing work to be done.

In 1 John 3, John writes that the indicator of a Christian is how we show love out in the world toward our neighbors:

verse 14^a: “We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers.” 

verse 18: “Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.”

verse 23: “And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us.” 

You envision yourself abiding in this Christ-like love- speaking life-giving words over your children, generously giving to anyone you see in need, honoring your spouse and responding in patience, calmness and love during disagreements and misunderstandings.

But in real life, you explode in anger at your children when you’re overwhelmed; you second-guess giving to the unhoused person on the street; you still people please a little bit, seeking the “approval of man;” you still drink too much; you find yourself gossiping quite a bit; or when your spouse says something you interpret as an attack, you fly off the hinges.

You pray and repent (or you hide), but you’re wondering, “How many times is God going to let me mess up?”

There goes that cognitive dissonance again, leaving you feeling guilt, shame, fear, anxiety, grief, regret, self-loathing, the list goes on….

The good news is, this does not make you a bad Christian; it speaks to your messy humanness- the same messy humanness Paul described in Romans 7. Yet and still, we both know, it doesn’t feel good. This isn’t how you want to be.

I’m here to tell you sister, there is hope for you.

If you’re reading this thinking “this is me,” perhaps this is the Holy Spirit’s nudge. God wants you to become an active participant in your healing journey. He gave us free will, the ability to choose. Choosing life, choosing God, means partnering with God to do the work that will set you free.

Anchor your identity in Christ

I heard Priscilla Shirer say that if you really need to remember who God says you are and his promises for you, flip in your Bible to Ephesians Chapter One. Below is just one verse- I invite you to read the whole chapter.

“even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.”

It is important that we dive into the Lord’s world daily. Especially, if we are worried about losing God’s love. If you’ve gotten this idea from somewhere that God is punitive or that he’ll abandon you, you’re misunderstanding God’s character. Our God is a God that will never abandon or forsake us, as it says in John 6:37 and Phillippians 1:6. And our God is a God that desires a relationship with you. We are to read the Word of God, but also to draw near to him.

Scripture illuminates God’s character. Before reading, pray to the Holy Spirit. Ask him to give you the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and the heart to discern God’s word. If you want to be led by the Holy Spirit, you’ve got to know what His voice sounds like. It sounds like God’s Word.

But what happens when you’ve read scripture; you know what God’s word says about you, but a part of you just can’t believe it? What if a part of you just can’t accept that it could ever really be loved by God? What if you hide from God rather than seek him? This is when Christ-centered therapy can help.

How Christ-Centered Therapy Helps

Hopefully, in reading scripture and receiving good, theological discipleship from your church community, you come to understand that your works don’t save you. Meaning, you don’t have to be perfect and sinless to be close to God or attain salvation. Christ laid down his life for us so that we could have eternity with him without being sinless- he was the spotless lamb. “For by grace you have been saved, through faith…” (Ephesians 2:8a).

Yet, we are also told that true saving faith leads to good fruit- we will show up in the world more like Christ as we undergo the process of sanctification. But again, you can’t seem to behave the way you want to behave, no matter how much scripture you read. You understand theoretically what it means that your identity is in Christ, but a part of you just can’t accept it as true.

This is the result of unprocessed, unresolved trauma and shame. This is the impact of a nervous system that is running on old software and needs an update. When we’ve internalized in our bodies and nervous systems that our identity is actually rooted in the consequences of the bad things that happened to us, it prevents us from claiming what God has declared is ours. Someone can tell you that you are a child of God all day- chosen, redeemed and forgiven; but that alone doesn’t necessarily make you believe it.

We need to go in and rewire the brain and remove the lies that have been imprinted. The parts of us that have held onto the pain, shame and trauma, bear testimonies that need to be witnessed, repaired and released. The parts of us that developed protective patterns and responses to push the pain and shame down and away, also need to be held by Christ, attended to, updated (they are stuck in the past) and unburdened.

This is the work I help people with. Putting Christ in his rightly place, at the center of this work, and using Christian variations of highly effective somatic psychotherapies such as Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR), I’ve witnessed hundreds of women over the last 14 years, heal their relationships with God and themselves and go out intot he world living their Kingdom purpose.

Hear the Holy Spirit

What’s the best way to be more Holy-Spirit led? Remove the lies that are filling you up so that the Holy Spirit can. Remove the inner chaos that disables you from hearing God and discerning the Holy Spirit, and do that with Christ-centered, Biblically Faith psychotherapy.

I offer these modalities to women online, across Texas in the format of individual weekly/-bi-weekly sessions, or through therapy intensives.

I pray for your healing. I pray for your peace.

Click the link below if you wish to move forward.

May it all be for the Glory of God.