Through Faith Therapy

Author: Grace Gessel

  • How Internal Family Systems Therapy Integrated with Christian Counseling and a Biblical Worldview can Deepen Your Faith

    How Internal Family Systems Therapy Integrated with Christian Counseling and a Biblical Worldview can Deepen Your Faith

    There is a model of therapy I use called Internal Family Systems, and I have found that this therapuetic model, when integrated with Christian Counseling to align fully with a Biblical worldview, is incredibly beneficial for deepening our faith and walk with the Lord as Christians.

    Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) is based on several understandings about human behavior and psychology. I will touch on just one of those today. This is the understanding that we all carry tension inside in the form of internal conflicts. The IFS term we used to describe these internal conflicts is “polarization.” 

    For a simplified example, a polarization is when on one hand we want to do “thing A,” but on the other hand we want to do “thing B,” and as a result we feel an internal “tug-of-war” that leaves us stressed or uncertain.

    internal family systems therapy can deepen your faith

    Navigating tension while being Spirit-led

    I find that in working with Christians, many of us are carrying polarizations inside that directly relate to our faith walk. 

    • For example, a part of you fears rejection and wishes to win the acceptance of others (pleasing man), while another spiritual part of you wants to be bold in your faith and focus on pleasing God rather than man as it states in Galatians 1:10:

    “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

    Here’s another example: 

    • A part of you wants to be reliant on God and Holy Spirit-led, submitting your will to His, while another self-reliant part of you is reactive and impulsive and doesn’t want to wait for God – it just wants to go!  

    As you can see from the previous two examples, the two parts in each case would be in conflict with one another. Though deep down inside they may want the same thing: security, love, closeness to God; they are going about it in different ways and their polarization makes life stressful and induces your suffering. 

    Think about Paul’s word’s in Romans 7: 14-25

    “For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

    “So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.“

    –

    Why can we not live according to our values?

    You can see Paul proposing the very type of inner polarizations we have been talking about. This is the nature of being human in a broken world. Paul uses the term “members” as opposed to “parts” in verse 23, but he is referring to the same thing.

    Oftentimes, parts of you are behaving a certain way in response to earlier traumas or incidents where you felt overcome by fear, rejection or humiliation. So the part of you that fears rejection today, likely first experienced or perceived the experience of rejection early in life. The part of you that can’t wait to hear God and let him lead, likely learned it had to be self-reliant early in life as well. 

    When parts/members of you are carrying conflictual behavioral patterns rooted in early life, they are often what we call in IFS, “burdened.” This means that they would rather not be doing the thing that they are doing, but they feel there is no other way- they are essentially “stuck” doing this thing they do not even really want to do. Sound like Paul?

    The parts of you that are inclined toward sin (behavior that separates you from God), the parts of you that are disobedient to God, and parts of you that seek to please God and follow his commandments but just always seem to miss the mark, are all often carrying burdens of their own. These parts/members of you each have a unique story to tell about how they came to be the way they are, what their goals are, and what they hope for.

    And you know who your parts need to listen to their story? The Holy Spirit.

    Good thing is, the Holy Spirit is already there for the believer (Ephesians 1:13), these burdened parts just can’t see it yet.

    With all of our parts and the burdens they may be holding, in a Christian IFS session, we are met by the Holy Spirit and God’s redemptive grace, which is the healer of all parts of us. And Christ has so beautifully offered us a remedy to our burdens…

    There is no part of us that Christ is afraid to touch. Jesus’s words for you in Matthew 11:28-30 are not just for the put together, socially acceptable parts of you- His words are for all of you:

    “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

    Christ wants us to carry nothing without Him. I remind you in your therapy sessions that He is present, and He is the healer. In fact, he’s already defeated death and overcome everything that you will ever need to heal from. 

    • My dear one, as a child of God, our battles are not ours to fight. They are the Lord’s. 

    “You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.’” (2 Chronicles 20:17)

    And what a relief that is to our entire system. Amen!

    What’s next?

    If you are curious if Internal Family Systems from a Christ-centered perspective could be a good fit for you, I invite you to reach out and schedule a complimentary consultation call with me.

    You might also be interested in my articles, “Why Therapy is Important for Christians” or “Why Christians Need a Christian Therapist”

    May the Lord’s peace be upon you.

  • Why Christians need a Christian Therapist (in Texas)

    Why Christians need a Christian Therapist (in Texas)

    This article will shine light on why Christians need a Christian therapist. Studies suggest improved outcomes when the client’s and therapist’s faiths align. Christians benefit from faith-integrative therapy.

    In my last post I wrote about the benefit of therapy for believers individually and for the body of Christ as a whole. If you missed that one, click here. 

    Today I want to get more explicit about the importance of seeing a Christian therapist who is comfortable integrating faith into your therapeutic work. This post will not be exhaustive; it will not cover every last reason why a Christian will benefit from seeing a Christian therapist, as opposed to a secular therapist. If I covered all of them this post would be a book. Instead, I am going to name what I believe to be some of the most important reasons here. 

    Why a Christian therapist for a Christian?

    First, I want to define what I mean by Christian therapist. Here, I do not mean a therapist, who just so happens to be a Christian. I mean a therapist, who is a Christian, but who is also intentional, skillful and ethical in explicitly integrating elements of the Christian faith and the overall Christian worldview into the therapeutic endeavor (with ongoing consent from the client, and after gathering an understanding of the Christian client’s worldview as they would describe it). 

    The importance of seeing a faith-integrative Christian therapist can be summarized by Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 1:18:

    “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”

    The Christian worldview sharply contrasts from that of the world and culture. This is true on so many levels.

    The purpose of life

    For the believer, the purpose of life is to glorify God. God has always wanted to be in close relationship to and dwell amongst his people. God put us here to worship him.

    We see this celebrated throughout scripture. In Isaiah 43:1, the Word says, “ Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” And, verse 7 goes on to say, “everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” 

    1 Corinthians 10:31 exhorts us, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” 

    Matthew 5:16 advises us, “…let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your father who is in heaven.” 

    The late theologian Tim Keller, makes an excellent point related to the intersection of life purpose and worldview within the counseling relationship (Keller, 2010): 

    “There is no way to determine what a person ought to do, whether behavior is good or bad, unless we know for what purpose a person was made. Is the purpose of the human being to glorify God, pursue individual freedom, or promote honor within his or her family? Each of these examples presumes a distinctive worldview. Science cannot answer the question of human purpose; therefore it cannot by itself provide advice about what people ought to do. 

    “Consider this example. Secular psychologies generally assume that people should be individually free to choose for themselves the life they want to live. That assumes the secular view of the world: that we were not created, we just evolved; therefore there is no purpose for which we were created. We are free to determine our purpose for ourselves. But can this psychology be proven by empirical science? Of course not; it is a faith assumption.“

    Our worldview informs our understanding of what life’s purpose is. Our theology around the purpose of life informs our ethics, morals and values and the goals and aims we are seeking to accomplish in therapy. 

    As an example, let’s say a secular therapist who is an atheist sees the purpose of life as achieving one’s own happiness on one’s own terms. Despite the therapeutic models and interventions they are using in therapy, this will inform their idea of what the client should and shouldn’t work toward and how they qualify “success.” Clinicians aim to be free of bias, but clinicians are human.

    A research study by J. Giglio proved exactly this- the therapist’s biases, attitudes and values entered the therapy room (Giglio, 1993). The study found that the secular therapist’s values can conflict with their religious client’s values leading to negative counter-transference (negative biases and assumptions about what the client believes, thinks, feels, needs, etc) and can result in negative treatment outcomes. 

    Again, as believers we know that for many a non-believer the word of God sounds like foolishness, as Paul wrote- it would take an incredibly self-aware and ethical secular therapist to keep their personal negative biases about Christianity out of the therapy room. 

    The focus of life

    What we believe to be the purpose of life, as informed by our worldview, then informs our focus for life. In culture at large, and within secular therapy, the focus is on the self, sometimes even written with a capital “S” or spoken about in an elevated manner (i.e. “higher self”). 

    Self-idolatry is the mark of this culture and secular therapy is not different. This is where we get ideas like, “you are enough,” “protect your peace.,” or the new age idea, inspired by an Eastern religious worldview, that God is within. 

    As Christians we are asked to be like Christ. Philippians 2:5-8, tells us, “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature, of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”

    Christ Jesus did not “protect his peace,” when he needed space to grieve his friend, John the Baptist, he was still taken with compassion for the masses that followed him, and He healed the unwell in the crowd (Matthew 14:13). 

    The Word teaches us that we are to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). 

    The secular world focuses on self. One of the therapeutic models I use, Internal Family Systems, which I find highly useful for Christians, (especially those navigating spiritual dilemmas) champions the goal of therapy as being “Self-led.” As a Christian counselor I adapt this model to align with a Christian worldview. As believers our goal is not to be “Self-lead,” we seek to be Holy Spirit-led. It is a priceless gift in this life to be blessed with the Holy Spirit and to be led by Him (Ephesians 1:13-14). 

    Jesus taught us that following him involves denying ourselves and taking up our cross. He goes on to say…“For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?” (Matthew 16:24-26)

    Denying ourselves doesn’t mean we neglect ourselves; if it did I wouldn’t be an advocate for therapy. No one benefits when we ignore our trauma and repress our pain. Denying ourselves means yielding our will and way to God’s. This is being led rather than aiming to become our own God and take the lead. 

    To walk like Christ, we awake each day with a servant’s heart, asking “how can I serve others?” We aim to love the Lord with all of our heart, soul and mind and love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39). We recognize that life is about something greater than our seeking our own happiness at every turn and running toward every fleshly desire. 

    When we are in Christ, we find that we don’t need to protect our peace, because when Christ dwells in our hearts, we have access to his peace. He is peace. 

    As Christ tells us in John 16:33, one of my favorite verses of scripture, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” 

    —

    The question I pose to you is this, 

    Do you wish to centralize God in your life? Do you wish to deepen your walk with Him? And if you do, what would happen if you also centered Him in the sacred healing space that is therapy? 

    —-

    What’s next?

    + Check out my next blog:

    How Internal Family Systems Therapy Integrated with Christian Counseling and a Biblical Worldview can Deepen Your Faith

    + Reach out to schedule your free 15-minute consultation and explore how I could support you you Christ-centered therapy: click here

  • Why Therapy is Important for Christians

    Why Therapy is Important for Christians

    why therapy is important for Christians

    …the significance of healing within the Body of Christ

    I am so glad you are here! I’m feeling Spirit-led to speak on this, and there is a lot we could talk about here. This is part one of a two-part post. Today, we’ll talk about why the Body of Christ benefits from therapy.

    In the post to follow, we’ll talk about why Christians seeking psychotherapy will benefit more and face fewer obstacles when working with a Christian counselor or therapist as opposed to a secular one- and by this I mean not just a therapist who in their personal life is a Christian, but a Christian therapist who integrates faith, and is faith-centered, Christ-centered, or gospel-centered, in their work.

    Ready? Let’s go.

    Woman receiving online Christian counseling Christ-centered trauma therapy.

    The past is not in the past

    That’s right, whether Christian or not, whether unbeliever or believer, our past is not totally in the past. Our past pours out into our present, in different ways, all of the time.

    Our history is alive within us, and so if within this history, there is “unfinished business,” then when our history comes out into the present it can oftentimes be to our or others detriment.

    Now, what am I saying here?

    First, let me define “unfinished business.” What I mean is that when we have unresolved trauma in our history, when we are carrying core wounds or burdens informed by the ways other people have sinned against us, and we haven’t done work to resolve that trauma, the impacts of that trauma come out in the present.

    What do I mean by “impacts of that trauma?”

    Trauma occurs when our nervous system leaves a “regulated” state where we can engage socially with others, pray and hear God speak, feel calm, at peace or in control: really, embodying the fruit of the Spirit. Trauma instead sends us into a state of sympathetic fight, flight or active freeze, (also called mobilization) or a state of down-regulation: freeze with collapse, or shutdown (also called immobilization).

    When our nervous system goes into one of the latter two states, as a result of experiencing something that left us and our body feeling out-of-control or helpless (i.e. sexual or physical abuse/assault, emotional or physical neglect, hostile discrimination) and we never receive active healing from this nervous system experience, we can and will develop unconscious coping strategies that are a direct result of that trauma.

    So these “impacts of trauma” are the coping strategies we take on, which are often not the healthiest. These can be things like restricting food or binge/purging, turning to drugs or alcohol, people pleasing, self-injury, suicidal ideation (thoughts), anxiety, depression, shame, isolating oneself, explosive anger or rage, hypercriticism of self or others, internal or external discrimination, the list goes on.

    In fact, the entire modality of Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS), helps us identify and unburden the parts of us that take on these behavioral strategies, and heal the trauma underneath.

    Renowned late theologian, Dr. Timothy Keller, takes modern psychological expressions and relates them to idolatry. He refers to these socio-emotional-behavioral strategies as “source idols,” and refers to idols such as power seeking, approval seeking, comfort seeking, and control seeking. As a trauma therapist, I view these forms of idolatry, also called idols of the heart, as trauma responses. So even idolatry, which separates us from God, can be rooted in the hurts of the past.

    Many of the coping strategies listed above have a sin element to them. They are not an embodiment of “good fruit” but rather anchored in a pattern of sin that was a direct consequence of someone sinning against (hurting) us. Remember, sin does not make us bad, we are created in God’s image and He is the lover of our souls. What sin does make us, is human.

    However, the trauma responses, the impacts of trauma, the idolatry, the sin patterns all distance us from living out our purpose as Christians, the glorify God. God wants better for us. That’s why he sent Jesus Christ, the Savior.

    We want a Body of Christ that is whole and wholesome.

    A peaceful forest road representing a guided path forward. Healing from trauma. A healthy body of Christ. Christ-centered therapy.
    Paved road winding through a vibrant forest with moss-covered tree trunks and brown foliage on the ground

    A healthy body of Christ is of greater service to the Kingdom.

    I invite you to look at what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 12:12-27:

    12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[a] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.

    15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

    21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

    27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

    We, are the body of Christ. You, are the body of Christ. In Christ, you belong.

    Yet, within the body of Christ, as Paul writes in v. 26, “if one part suffers, every part suffers with it.”

    Similarly, Paul writes that we are to “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

    As followers of Christ, we are responsible for the health of one another and ourselves.

    The body of Christ benefits, along with each individual in it, and that means YOU, when we offer each other authentic community and take the time to heal from the pains of our past.

    So now that we’re clear on why Christians benefit from therapy, why don’t you join me for my next post where I will explain why Christians benefit from a Christian (and not a secular) therapist, specifically.

    And if you’re feeling ready to schedule that free, 15-min phone call with me, click here.

    For the gospel,

    Grace